I'd be kicked out of the NFL for doping right now...

In the interest of keeping up to date here is the latest and greatest but because I'm also feeling lazy, it's just going to be another paste job from my recent List post regarding steroids... Enjoy!

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I didn't have a very good week since my SRS treatment.

Once I got home, I found that the steroids they had me on were making me very aggressive, easily angered and downright nasty.

Since, as usual, the docs at Kaiser barely spoke to me, I had no idea what to expect. It started causing so much trouble that I had several huge fights with my wife (even after nearly 30 years together, we rarely fight or even argue) because neither of us understood what was happening. I guess she thought I'd just turned mean on her.

Well, we finally figured it out and the Doc said I could try going off the steroids but of course, as usual, never giving me any real idea of what to expect by doing so.

So I weaned myself off the steroids over a period of days.

The agressiveness went away almost immediately and things seemed to be returning to something closer to what passes for normal for me these days...

But by the 3rd day, I began feeling horrible. The headacges came back, the mental confusion, anxiety and panic attacks.

Thinking things were OK, Dianna had been trying to go back to work but by the 4th day, I was so weak I could barely walk, my field of vision and the confusion had forced me to voluntarily give up driving again. I was crying and shaking - a complete train wreck.

I was convinced that my brain mets had grown or multiplied. I thought I was dying.

So last thursday, my wife had reluctantly gone in to work but after a few hours, I called her to come home. I was so messed up, I could barely speak.

We called my local onc. and he says something like, "oh yeah, we were concerned that you might not tolerate being off the steroids.."

Well thanks a lot for letting us in on that little detail, Doc!

So, I went back on the steroids and felt better again within 24 hours. It's been 3 days and so far, there hasn't been too much problem with the aggression/agitation.. just 1 or 2 minor flare-ups and now that Dianna understands what's going on, she's learning to simply ignore me if I start acting like an ass**** and that helps.

I also stay pretty doped up on Ativan and sleeping pills at night and that helps as well. Though I hate like hell to take those types of drugs, it seems I have no choice now.

I am also getting concerned about side effects from the steroids, especially after reading up about them in the archives here. They have me on a pretty high dose.

I also understand that being on steroids can keep me from being treated for my lung mets, at least as far as IL2 is concerned. I'd appreciate any insights in regards to these last 2 paragraphs..

Anyway, that's the story so far... I have a appt. with Dr. G in Riverside in a week or so and will hopefully learn more then.

Keep fighting, RCC Warriors!

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